The expectations you accept from yourself and others create your REALITY

Disfiguration Of Our Mind: Expectation vs Reality

Martine Cloutier-LeBlanc


I’m continuing the great conversation that started over a month ago. At that time, I had mentioned I wasn’t sure where this discussion would lead me to nor the exact path I wanted to take, but since then, a lot has happened and I look forward to sharing it with you all.

The interest is growing and more and more people are willing to have this type of conversation. Personally, I am in no rush to see it all evolve because, deep down, I know the impact it can have, and it’s fascinating!

This time around, I’m addressing EXPECTATIONS vs REALITY — a subject that is going to make you rethink of your own expectations and reality, but also the type of expectations you’re willing or wanting to accept from yourself and others.

By the end of your read, you’ll be better equipped to understand where you currently stand, but more importantly, where you have the ability to go from here.

Remember, the choice is YOURS — yours ONLY!

What does your mental picture look like?

I’m going to ask you two questions. As you answer them in your mind or on paper, I want you to be as honest as possible with yourself.

Question 1:

If, when you wake up in the morning, you have to draw your day-to-day reality on a piece of paper, what would you draw?

Would you choose bright and colorful colors to represent your thoughts and reality or would you select darker shades or colors that are rarely being used? Would you include pleasant and attractive sceneries and landscapes or would your choices illustrate cloudiness, plainness, and/or dullness?

Question 2:

If, when you to go to sleep, you have to draw the next day’s reality on a piece of paper, what would you draw?

Would it be a different portrait then what you would have draw in the morning? Would it be more artistic or would you pay it less attention?

I asked these two questions because when I talk with clients, followers, and/or people in general, I often go in fairly deep conversations and one of the things that I see resurface more often than not is the inability for many people to consistently “draw” positive mental pictures and visions of their day-to-day life (which includes thoughts, actions, conversations, etc.). Sometimes, they start the conversation feeling good and describing good parts of their days, but then, out of nowhere, or so it seems, something appears to bother them internally. Whatever they felt good about begin to take a back seat and is being replaced with doubts, fears, self-criticism, etc.

But then, I also see the reverse of what I just explained. Others start conversations by mentioning what may not be working too well yet turn their discussion around by purposefully finishing their talks with positive highlights and homeruns. Unfortunately, those more uplifting thinkers don’t represent the majority of people, where the importance of asking these two above questions and allowing you to be as honest as you can be while answering them.

Because whether you notice it or not, those day-to-day mental drawings impact the amount of mental disfiguration someone can and will experience.

Personally, whether I would draw my mental day-to-day picture at 5am when I excitedly jumped out of the bed or at the end of my day, I would more than likely draw something that would be inviting, funny, colorful, creative, energizing, and relaxing.

Which is why I know, this day-to-day mental drawing is a reality that can be done. It can be channeled with all the good energy and intentional thoughts that you possess. Am I saying it is an easy task? Not at all, but not easy does not mean IMPOSSIBLE.

Your mental picture is tied with your expectations

What I find fascinating is that what you choose to “draw” when you wake up or before you go to bed — is linked with what you’re expecting of yourself. What you’re expecting of yourself can create a mental disfigurement that only becomes bigger and bigger as your mental picture strays away from where you want it to go or your mental disfigurement begins to shrink as what you’re “drawing” reflects your positivity, mental strength, and optimism toward your days.

If you’re someone who as low expectations or don’t really expect things to go your way, you may tend to “draw” your mental picture with less vibrant colors and details. Your portrait may display a more morose thematic. Which will often be linked with negative thoughts about yourself, others, or even the world in general.

But if you’re someone whose expectations are at the top of the line — and you’re not overwhelmed by them because they’re reinvigorating you, then you’ll tend to “draw” something totally different then the above example. Your drawing would display light, energy, belief, confidence, and plenty of those positive attributes. You may still experience some mental disfiguration; however, the disfigurement will be at a lower level and/or with a lower intensity.

And of course, you can be someone whose expectations are high but who feels those expectations have been more “imposed” on you. You don’t necessarily like or approve of them but, at the same time, you know and understand they’re there and choose to live with them. In this instance, you may “draw” parts of both worlds. Parts of your mental drawings would reflect what you truly feel or would like to feel while other aspects in your drawings would be more of what OTHERS think and believe.

In all, wherever you fall in, the important thing is not only to “draw” the best mental pictures that you can “draw” on a daily basis, but to also pay close attention to the expectations you choose to accept — whether they are from you or from others.

What to do from here?

It’s up to you. Believe it or not, there are plenty of things to do and explore in regards of drawing your daily mental pictures.

But the FIRST thing to do before anything else is to be HONEST with your mental drawings and not belittle or downplay there importance. Because trust, if you let yourself believe it is not worth it or that it won’t change a thing no matter what you may attempt or not, then guess what — what you’re saying will definitely manifest itself and those mental drawings of yours will be negative, useless, and ill-founded because YOU decided and chose as such.

However, if you give yourself a shot and choose to attempt it and focus your attention on what it can actually do for you, then your road to changing what you may have been used to can now occur and start to look a little bit different.

I would like to end this piece by remembering you EVERYTHING we do, say, or think come at a price and whether it is a price you’re willing to pay or not is up to you.

But for those who want to improve, for those who can see their current and future potential, for those who have attempted a few things yet know more needs to be done, then I am talking to you. I am encouraging you to take your mental drawings seriously. I am inviting you to test them out and see how, little by little, things within and around you are going to start changing.

You know there is no magic pill for anything — but there is plenty of situations and circumstances that can be changed, avoided, and understood better.

Your mind remains the GREATEST gift you’ll EVER receive, make sure you take care of it to the BEST of your ability.



Martine Cloutier-LeBlanc

Founder and CEO of CAPTIVATE MY DAY, loving life to its fullest